my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
