this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
