I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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