I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
