Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
