So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
