ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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