Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
