i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
