I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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