Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
