Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
These tits shall not be calmed
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