The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
