I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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