I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
