just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
plz talk dirty to me
In America we eat man semen.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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