Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if only i could text you this smell
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
