I'm going to jail i love you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
