I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
