he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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