im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
