Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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