i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She said her name was "party"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize