i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
