"it" just moved
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
