So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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