i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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