He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
