So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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