I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
