I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
