I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
