if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
