my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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