my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
