Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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