Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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