is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
as a side note pls kill me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
