Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He shit in the fireplace
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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