Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
