Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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