'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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