she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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