Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
