I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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