He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
