Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
