hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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