My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think people are normalizing furries
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
