As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
