im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
