sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
