why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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