He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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