I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
