Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize