Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize