well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize