my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she told me i tasted like america
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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