He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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