Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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