First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
