I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize