how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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