I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
